The Perils of Busyness: Why We Sometimes Sacrifice Our Happiness
We are a society that is obsessed with busyness. We talk extensively about how busy we are, as if it is a badge of honor or a problem that we don't actually want to solve. But is there a better way? What is the point of all this busyness? And who are we busy for, our bosses? Are we sacrificing our happiness in order to appear busy? Being busy doesn't equate to productivity or effectiveness. Not only that, but our bucket list is getting dusty in the process. We are delaying doing the things we are excited about until we are less busy. That delay can be a big source of suffering.
For most of my life, I was fed this idea that you work 10 or 12 hour days for 40 years, and you will get everything you ever wanted: a house, great kids, a loving and supportive spouse, a labrador retriever, your dream job, and no stress. Right? It's a scene straight out of the movie Pleasantville. I left graduate school bogged down by so much debt that it took me about ten years to resurface, only to pivot into getting serious about having a family while still youthful enough to handle the physicality of it all. I have been beyond stressed out most days of my working life, it wasn't until this global pandemic that I stopped to smell the roses so to speak. I've added more to my life in the last 3 years, and simultaneously, I am more productive than I have ever been. Not only that, but I am happier. I am engaged in my work, and hitting a stride. I am not talking about my 9 to 5 work, but the things I am truly passionate about. Writing more, learning Spanish, reading, and truly living in the moment with my little boys.
There are a few simple steps you can take to transform your life and begin again, down a new and more awakened path.
1) Check email less and don't do it first thing in the morning. Also, don't check it in the evening either. Tim Ferris suggests checking your email twice a day, at 11 AM and at 4 PM. By design, waiting to check your email gives you the opportunity to tackle the important but non-urgent items on your to do list. Take a look at the Eisenhower Matrix for a new perspective on time management. In this system, you organize tasks based on how urgent and important they are. The non-urgent/important is what we should be scheduling into our mornings, but I oftentimes find myself doing the urgent/important first and not making time for anything else. Urgent/unimportant should be delegated.
2) Get off most social media. Do the bare minimum. Social media is designed to draw us back in frequently. Have you ever caught yourself scrolling through Facebook mindlessly? Scale it back and set aside specific times for it, ie not when you are spending time with friends/family, and not when you are avoiding doing something important/nonurgent. Social media plays an important role in growing a business and finding/engaging your audience. So do just that! And nothing else.
3) Watch less tv and news. During the pandemic, I was glued to the tv. I closely followed the infection and mortality rates as if it was somehow supposed to help me understand what I could expect in the future. I put the CNN app on my phone and awoke every morning to "breaking news." Something new and big must be happening. Nope. It was more of the same from the day before. I have since removed the news apps from my phone, and stopped tuning in each evening. I get my news from my friends and family, and then will follow up on some things that I truly want more information about. I have one news podcast I tune into twice a week for a total of about 1 hour. I have gotten so much time back to read and work on my writing.
4) Turn off all alerts on your phone. Make it so that to see new updates, you need to open the app. Turn off both pop-up and email alerts. Give yourself more mental capacity and fewer distractions. This will give you the much needed space to get into flow and work on creative projects, or goals. You are not going to find happiness by trying to be happy. But you can fight off boredom by keeping your passions and interests on your schedule.
Overall, we need to be less available and less connected. Nothing has burned to the ground since I have given myself dedicated time to work on my passions. And I am in a customer facing role. I have learned how to be smart about it, and by taking back time for myself, I have become more engaged and less stressed out at my job.
Take care!
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